


Typical Routines

by SilverFox89



Series: From Then to Now [12]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Everyday happenings, M/M, Yume strikes again, married life with kids, playfully teasing couple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-15
Updated: 2015-04-15
Packaged: 2018-03-23 01:03:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3749263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverFox89/pseuds/SilverFox89
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Having toddlers means that cleaning up the house is just a wee bit more interesting than it used to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Typical Routines

**Author's Note:**

> 30 Day OTP Challenge foe the Fluff Impaired Prompt #12: Chores

When it came to running a household most people would have expected Neji to be the one who kept up with cleaning and other in house issues. They would be terribly wrong. Shikamaru was actually the one to do most of these things regardless of his lazy nature. The reason why was the Nara's own genius mind. The very genius that allowed him to create brilliant strategies was also the source of several drawbacks. One of those drawbacks was the Nara's attention to detail.

 

He noticed everything around him and it often led to him taking over simple tasks cleaning or doing the household budgets on his own. This was actually part of the mild OCD Shikamaru had but was able to control so long as he paid attention to the signs and dealt with them quickly enough. This usually meant a thorough once a month cleansing of the entire house. However, with the twins being 18 months old and constantly on the move playing, or Yume dropping food on the floor whenever and wherever she pleased, that had changed to twice a month(Shikamaru's OCD may have gotten a little worse after the twins had started to walk but he would not give his children up for any reason).

 

It was also why they had a set morning routine. Though, as always, Yume added her own touch to things. Every morning, regardless of anything, at 4 AM Yume would toddle through her parents slightly open bedroom door(after having yet again escaped her crib, of course) and crawl on to their low platform bed. And every morning that Neji was home the Hyūga would open one eye to stare at her sleepily before pulling Yume close with a indecipherable murmur and going back to sleep for a few more hours. If Neji wasn't home she would cuddle up on her tou-chan's chest and he would wake up briefly, open his eyes, groan tiredly while glancing at the clock and then decide that is was just too early to be awake. Yume was happy enough to go back to sleep with him, if only for a little while longer. At 6:30 Shikamaru would wake up to find their little invader poking him with her toes while giggling and would sigh, sitting up to stretch before picking up Yume.

 

As always, Yume babbled happily in her tou-chan's ear while she was carried to the kitchen. With a yawn Shikamaru deposited her in her highchair and opened a drawer to take out some paper and crayons to set down in front of Yume to keep the toddler entertained. He started the coffee maker and then retrieved all of the necessary items for him to start making breakfast for the family.

 

At exactly 7:00 Neji came into the kitchen fully dressed and pressed a kiss to Shikamaru's cheek as he took over cooking breakfast. "Did you sleep well?"

 

"Yeah, well, at least until my personal alarm clock started poking me in the ribs with her toes," Shikamaru said as he reached over to tickle said alarm clock. She shrieked in laughter, batting at his hands. Shikamaru chuckled hoarsely, "I'd like to figure out how she _**always**_ wakes me up at 6:30 exactly every morning."

 

"Who knows. It can be a mystery for the ages," Neji said to tease the Nara before walking over to Yume to give her the kiss on the cheek that she demanded after seeing her tou-san kiss her tou-chan. "Spoiled princess, always so demanding."

 

"She takes after you, you know. And it doesn't help that you indulge her," Shikamaru said over his shoulder as he left the kitchen to get dressed and wake up Shikaku, who would sleep till 10:00 easily if permitted.

 

"Blasphemy and lies," Neji called back laughing. Yume giggled at the silly face her tou-san made at her as he placed down bowls and plates on the table.

 

"Seriously, Neji?" He heard from farther in the house. "You're a true tyrant when you get it into your head to be demanding. I mean, just look at the poor Chūnin, they actually _**try**_ to disappear into the floor when you get displeased. And I don't mean a little annoyed, angry or out right pissed off, _**displeased**_ Neji. It's kind of sad and hilarious at the same time."

 

"Mm, well it wouldn't happen if they would listen the first time I said something. I don't like having to send teammates to the hospital because they managed to get themselves hurt through their own stupidity."

 

"True enough," Shikamaru said as he came back into the kitchen with Shikaku resting his head on the man's shoulder. "I swear he's going to be just like me when he's older," the Nara stated as he put Shikaku in his own highchair.

 

"You mean a lazy genius?"

 

"Let's just hope he doesn't get my OCD, though it might be too late for that. Shikaku's already crazy about keeping stuff off his clothes. Kaa-san said I was the same way at his age. She said Oyaji told her that at that age it was already too troublesome for me to have to my clothes changed every time they got too dirty."

 

Neji laughed as he shook his head. "Anyone who thinks you're completely lazy doesn't know you as well as they think."

 

"It's not like anyone other than you gets to see me in my own home everyday. And it's not my fault that being a genius comes with issues of its own. Honestly, you saw my room back when I lived with kaa-san. She nagged at me for a lot of things-"

 

"But never your bedroom. It was always too troublesome to let it get dirty. I remember. Which reminds me, she is coming to pick up the twins at 9:00, correct?"

 

"Yeah. I've already got their things packed away in a scroll for her so their set for the weekend."

 

Neji nodded as he started to place food into bowls and on plates. "I suppose it will be interesting to see what Yume has managed to do in the last two weeks since we last cleaned."

 

"Oh gods... Don't remind me," Shikamaru groaned. "It's like she's magnet for grossness. How she got part of a peanut butter and jam sandwich under the couch that one time is something I will never understand. It took me forever to find out where that horrible stench was coming from when it started rotting."

 

"She keeps life interesting," Neji said as he started to feed Yume. She had a tendency to get food everywhere on purpose if left to feed herself, unlike her brother who hated being messy.

 

"In all the wrong ways, I assure you. I am constantly trying to keep her out of the things she has no business being near. The worst part is that I honestly have no idea how she's getting into them. We keep our dangerous things sealed and out of reach but somehow...," Shikamaru huffed, keeping a close eye on Shikaku as the toddler slowly fed himself and was ready to intervene at the first sign of trouble. "I already dread what she's going to be like as a teenager. Not only do I have no idea what her rebellious stage will be like but we will also be beating guys off of her. And then there's going to the whole feminine issues and hygiene to deal with. Ah darn it... I am _**not**_ looking forward to that. Hopefully one of the girls will be willing to talk it over with her. Ino and Sakura are both women and medics after all. Of which we are neither. Our son is so much easier for me to understand."

 

Neji growled. "I'd like to see any boy lay hands on our princess."

 

Shikamaru laughed a little wickedly, "I think it'll be a little harder than you think. She's already pretty. When she hits puberty..."

 

"There _**will**_ be bloodshed, Nara. I am not above cutting off fingers to protect Yume," Neji said darkly.

 

"Neither am I, but she's not always going to be little like she is now. Eventually Yume will start making decisions of her own for her life," Shikamaru said with a shrug. "It's why I worry. And now I can't remember for the life of me why I wanted a girl instead of just boys."

 

Neji grinned, "You, Nara, are a masochist, of course. How else do you explain the fact that you are constantly surrounded by bossy, overbearing, demanding women? Our daughter will probably be added to that list later on."

 

Shikamaru narrowed his eyes at Neji and made a rude gesture towards him that the Nara kept hidden from the twins.

 

Neji's grin widened, "Perhaps later after the house is clean."

 

Shikamaru sputtered and blushed furiously, "Neji!"

 

"What? You were the one who implied-"

 

"Shut up. You finish that sentence and I'll make you do laundry by hand instead of scrubbing the floor," Shikamaru threatened. The Hyūga still used too much detergent in the washing of clothes and it drove Neji nuts to get all the soap out of them.

 

Neji laughed, "Very well. I will behave myself."

 

"Right, I'm sure you will," Shikamaru deadpanned.

 

By the time breakfast was done, the kitchen set to rights and the twins cleaned up and dressed in their day clothes it was already 8:50.

 

"Why on earth does it take so long to get two small children ready," Neji muttered.

 

"Yume is chaos incarnate and Shikaku hates it when anyone tries to take off his clothes," Shikamaru answered easily. This was actually one of their frequent conversations when it came to getting the toddlers ready for anything. Shikamaru grabbed the scroll and went out to the living room when he heard a knock at the door. He answered it quickly. "Hey kaa-san, you're a bit early today."

 

"Just a little," she said with a smile. "Are Shikaku and Yume ready?"

 

"Yeah. Neji should be bringing them out in a moment. You have everything you need to take care of them? Or do you need one of us to go out and grab anything from the market for you?"

 

Yoshino laughed softly. "You're such a worrier these days, Shikamaru. Though I can't say I'm surprised, after all your father was too," she teased. "He just hid it better."

 

Shikamaru snorted, "He didn't have chaos incarnate for a daughter. I swear, kaa-san, some days it feels like that girl is going to send me to the crazy house. I _**highly**_ doubt Neji got into as much trouble as a toddler. She's just..." Shikamaru sighed heavily and shook his head.

 

Yoshino smiled at him, "It'll be okay. Besides, you have plenty of friends and family who will watch over them both when you need a break. And no, sweetie, cleaning the house twice a month on weekends does not count as a break."

 

"Thank you, Yoshino!" Neji called out as he entered the living room with a child on each hip. "I've been trying to explain that to him for months now. Of course, he just has to be as stubborn as Naruto is when it comes to some things."

 

"I take exception to that," Shikamaru said with a narrow eyed look towards Neji. Neji, of course, ignored him in favor of listening to his mother-in-law.

 

"Oh, I already know that Neji, dear. Who do you think he got it from?" Yoshino grinned at her son-in-law.

 

"Clearly not from his father," Neji replied. "Thank you for taking the twins for the weekend again."

 

"It's no trouble. I enjoy having them over. It's so quiet at home these days."

 

Shikamaru's eyebrows drew together in a worried look. "You sure you're doing okay on your own? You're-"

 

"Calm down, Shikamaru," Yoshino soothed. "I'm fine. I just miss having a noisier home, that's all. Empty nest syndrome people call it."

 

Shikamaru watched her for a long moment. " We'll try to come over for supper more often. Okay?"

 

Yoshino laughed happily, "I'd like that. I doubt anyone would believe me if I told them that you're a complete sweetheart despite you're lazy, apathetic seeming ways."

 

"They've all been fooled," Neji said seriously as he transferred the twins over to Yoshino one at a time. "Shikamaru has them thinking about him exactly as he wants them to. Less work for him if they don't know the truth."

 

Shikamaru shook his head, "Neji?"

 

"Hm?"

 

"You're a dork," Shikamaru stated this plainly as if it were the most common thing in the world to say.

 

"Love you too."

 

Yoshino watched them fondly, "You know, Shikamaru, I do believe I once told you that you'd find the right person when you were younger. You didn't believe me but here you are, just like I said you would be."

 

Shikamaru shrugged, "I was thirteen. Thirteen year olds aren't exactly smart when it comes to relationships and all that. Not to mention, how many times did Asuma-sensei say that I was emotionally dumb? Maybe not in those words, but he wasn't wrong. I think he was the only one who really had me figured out back then. That or Oyaji was just sadistic enough to watch me muddle my way through. He always was the tough love kinda guy."

 

"It wasn't easy for him. Your father was such a push over when it came to you, believe it or not. He hated it saying those things to you at the hospital all those years ago but he did it anyway because you needed to hear it. He kicked himself for weeks afterwards though when Asuma-san came and chewed him out for leaving Asuma-san to explain everything else to you when it should have been him."

 

Shikamaru eyes widened in surprise, "No way. Asuma-sensei never said anything to me about that."

 

Yoshino smiled softly, "He was a good man. Asuma-san cared about all three of you very much. I think he would have taken on anyone for his genin team, even their parents. Well, we should get going, shouldn't we little ones? Leave your fathers to clean the house."

 

"We'll be by Monday morning to pick them up if neither of us are called away for missions," Neji called to her as she left with the twins.

 

"I know. Have fun boys!"

 

"Yay," Shikamaru said flatly. "Germs and other assorted gross things."

 

Neji laughed until he had to lean against the wall to keep from falling over.

 

* * *

 

When Neji took the pan drawer of the oven out he could only stare in mute horror at the disgusting _**thing**_ he found there. It looked like something from a bad horror film had crawled under there and died before beginning to decay. He poked it with a gloved finger and shuddered. "Perhaps Shikamaru was not so wrong about our daughter and her ability to cause mayhem," he murmured to himself as he scrapped it off the floor and threw it in the trash before thoroughly cleaning and then sanitizing the area where he found it for good measure. "Is that oatmeal? It kind of _**looks**_ like it...but Shikamaru hasn't made oatmeal recently, at least not that I know of."

 

Neji went to the back door and called out to the Nara who was busy washing what looked to be like the last load of laundry, "Shikamaru?"

 

"What? I'm kinda up to my elbows in dirty laundry right now, Neji," Shikamaru called over his shoulder.

 

"I know that but I thought you would like to know that our daughter has somehow managed to get what may have been oatmeal under the oven. Has she even had oatmeal lately? Isn't it too hot for oatmeal?"

 

"The hell? Seriously?" Shikamaru turned to look at Neji incredulously.

 

"As a heart attack. How on earth did we miss it?"

 

"With her there's no telling. And I'm really getting to the point where I'm not surprised anymore by this kind of stuff. I swear, Neji, she is some kind of genius when it comes to causing the maximum amount of chaos. If it weren't for her eyes lightening up to the pale colors of your clan I'd seriously question her parentage because no Hyūga or Nara I know has ever caused so much trouble. I even talked to Hinata and your uncle about Yume's ability to cause mischief and they think I'm joking."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"I mean that if I didn't know better I'd say she had Uzumaki blood in her. Naruto is the only person I know that the impossible happens around and yet Yume manages it just as well as he does," Shikamaru huffed as he scrubbed at a particularly stubborn stain on one of Yume's dresses.

 

"Mm, very true. Maybe some of his impossible ways transferred to her when he first held her."

 

"I would not be surprised at all if that were the case," Shikamaru groused as he finished washing the final load and began transferring it to be rinsed. When Shikamaru was done he lifted the washing tub and moved to one side of the backyard to dump the dirty water out on to the ground. "It definitely wouldn't be the first time he's done something weird without knowing it."

 

Neji stood on the back porch watching him quietly as he did this for a moment. "The floors, counters and bathrooms are all clean," he stated finally. "I think the only things left to do are the windows, the bathtubs themselves and to clean the gutters out because of that last storm."

 

Shikamaru sighed as he stretched out his back . "We'll do them tomorrow. I have no urge to keep myself bent over in a position of spinal torture like this for who knows how much longer. Besides, we still need to make supper after I finish rinsing, wringing and hanging these out on the line to dry. Unless, you'd rather go out to eat after we bathe."

 

"Going out sounds nice. We haven't actually done so in a while because of missions and the twins," Neji said and then smiled slyly. "It could be a date. The children aren't here for us to worry about and we have the rest of the night to ourselves."

 

Shikamaru laughed, "All right, all right. I get it. You get to pick the place we go to this time though. I picked last time."

 

"Fair enough."

**Author's Note:**

> Anyone with kids knows how it is to find some weird and disgusting thing in an even stranger place. I have siblings who liked to put milk or eggs in the floor vents when we lived in a different house and they were little. Or smushing chocolate covered cherries into the carpet. Seriously gross stuff people.
> 
> Parents you have my sympathy and respect for the troubles you go through.


End file.
